Hi. I’m Megan, and this is my misbehaving uterus.

I’m a life-long learner, a travel fanatic, a nature lover, a bookworm, and a chocolate aficionado.  I’m married and own a dog and a cat.

I have had seven pregnancies.  I have had six pregnancy losses. I have two living children – one born with the help of a gestational surrogate – one unexpectedly carried and delivered by me 18-months later.

I’m writing this because while there is a booming online community surrounding fertility, pregnancy, motherhood, and even miscarriage, I’ve found limited resources for women dealing with recurrent pregnancy loss.

My adventure with my misbehaving uterus has not been easy. I saw a Reproductive Endocrinologist, a Hematologist, a Reproductive Immunologist, an Acupuncturist and several Therapists.  I had multiple surgeries, taken hormones, steroids, blood thinners, vitamins and supplements. I intermittently cut out dairy, gluten, coffee, and sugar.  I did yoga and tried meditation.  I prayed desperately.  I prescreened embryos and did two rounds of IVF. I’ve watched someone else’s body grow full and swollen with my child while my own belly remained empty and aching. I’ve been pregnant a lot. I’ve had nausea and night-sweats and sore boobs and exhaustion. I’ve seen three heartbeats. But I’ve only once made it through the first trimester – at 40, when I truly believed there was no hope left.

The process of trying to get and stay pregnant stole my identity. It affected my job performance and impacted my personal relationships.  It invaded my body and my mind.  It was a single note played so loudly and consistently that it muted all the other chords of my life.  It made me feel broken and alone.

I hope that by sharing my story, other women will feel less isolated.

I intend to address my experience with honesty, a healthy dose of cynicism, occasional dark humor, and a lot of compassion. I am not a medical professional nor a mental health practitioner.  My words are not intended to provide clinical or psychological advice.  My cartoons are not meant to offend. As you read this, please remember that everyone grieves differently, and everyone has a different vision for how they want to build a family.  No way is “right” or “wrong.”  These opinions are my own.  Please take them as such.  

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