My daughter turns three this month. I can hardly believe it – three years since I was in a delivery room watching a woman labor for the first time in my life and truly marveling at the miracle of childbirth. I haven’t written much about my surrogacy experience yet, so I am taking this as an opportunity. There are so many aspects of the process that I can and will expound upon but let me […]
“Right now I am day 6 post loss 5. I am drinking prosecco and eating popcorn and writing a blog that I will probably never post.I knew I lost it as soon as I looked in the toilet. I had bled the night before and it was bright red. Not the transparent bloody discharge and spotting that’s normal in early pregnancy, but red like a rose and the color of hell. I told myself it […]
I’m determined to put our entire journey down on paper. So, I am forcing myself – mentally kicking and screaming – to tell the story of our fourth miscarriage. But if the theme of our third loss was compounded grief, due to the concurrent loss of our cat, the theme of our fourth loss would have to be ignored grief. So ignored, in fact, that my husband barely remembers the pregnancy at all. Our fourth […]
Continuing to own my story this week by talking about my third miscarriage.
I have found it surprisingly easy to both talk about and write about my first miscarriage. Maybe because it was the beginning of everything. It’s easy for me to start things, to set the scene, to introduce the characters, to begin. When I was in school, I always wrote great introductions for my papers. Finishing things was harder. I have a lot of half-finished projects, a lot of unrealized aspirations. Finding a clear path through […]
My husband and I arrived at our first 8-week appointment a little frazzled, a lot anxious, and very late; but our doctor was lovely about it. We gave him our history and talked to him about my symptoms (they were few, thankfully). And after a bit of small talk, he said “alright, let’s see how things look.” He didn’t say anything for a long time after starting the ultrasound, then he asked if we were […]
Adventures of a Misbehaving Uterus 