All posts filed under: Uncategorized

All the good things and the bad things that may be…

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It is impossible to fully address the topic of infertility without talking about sex.  But if I have sometimes been ashamed to discuss my fertility challenges, I have been absolutely loath to bring up its impact on my sex life.  Sharing this aspect of myself feels like inviting spectators into my bedroom to examine the sheets.  Yet it cannot be ignored.  Miscarriage and infertility had a material impact on my sex life. I don’t believe […]

Fertility is a (half)Marathon

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When I’m being melodramatic, I like to say that my sister saved my life.  In actuality, I think she saved my sanity.  I’m quite certain I would have gone into a deep depression after my second miscarriage had it not been for my sister.  My second loss was a psychological turning point for me.  My first loss, while devastating, was possible to rationalize.  It was common, a likely genetic aberration, no cause for concern.  The […]

Et tu, Brute?

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Hello again.  It’s been several weeks since I posted.  There are some very simple explanations for this, as well as reasons which are harder to articulate.  My July was spent with family.  First in Chicago, visiting my mom, my sister, my niece and nephews, both my grandparents, and some extended family; then driving cross-country to Seattle with my dad.  In our current socio-political environment personal travel is viewed with a lot of judgement.  While I […]

Why Doesn’t She Just…?

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This week I’ve been thinking a lot about personal choice.  Specifically, the incongruousness between emotions and principles that cause us to make unexpected choices.   Many of us spend far too much time in our head worrying about the future – imagining all the possible situations we might find ourselves in and how we would respond.  This gives us the illusion of control.  We feel prepared.  There’s a quote by French philosopher Michel de Montaigne […]

Men Are From Mars

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With Father’s Day this weekend, I wanted to take the opportunity to talk about my other half.  The partner to my Misbehaving Uterus: the Sad Sack, the Bad Balls, the Naughty Nuts (thanks, KK for your clever naming, I wouldn’t have gotten here on my own!) The male experience of miscarriage is so often overlooked.  It’s always the woman’s account that’s reported on in the news.  It’s the woman who receives the majority of our […]

Striving for Empathy

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It’s hard not to be overwhelmed by the current state of our nation.  I’ve been trying to process my own feelings all week. I do not consider myself an appropriate authority to discuss race relations, and I didn’t start this blog to discuss current events.  But I can talk about grief.  I understand grief.  And I think that George Floyd’s death and the resulting protests are emblematic of the profound grief being experienced by many […]

This Little Light of Mine

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Several years ago, in the lobby of my therapist’s office, I saw a magazine with a cover story talking about women “having it all” (or something similar).  This may have been in the wake of Sheryl Sandberg’s “Lean In,” or it may have been after Hillary Clinton won the democratic nomination for president, but whichever incredibly successful woman inspired the magazine article, it seriously pissed me off.  I remember taking a picture of the cover […]

Always the Bridesmaid

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My sister has three young children who are learning to cohabitate, so our phone conversations are frequently interrupted by upset toddlers with sibling disputes.  She usually starts by responding, “I can hear that you’re experiencing some big emotions.”  I just love this phrasing; it’s so validating.  Don’t we all wish we could still run to mom when we’re overcome with feelings?    With Mother’s Day this weekend, I’ve been experiencing a lot of “big emotions” and […]