My maternal grandfather, my Papa, died yesterday. He was 100 years old, so it was not entirely surprising, but it is still a loss. The loss of our family patriarch, the loss of one of my life-long role models, the end of an era for me and my cousins. I find myself in a very philosophical place today, pondering life’s big questions and the very nature of grief. But let me start with him. […]
There is a movement in pregnancy loss community about “redefining motherhood” and challenging the standard ideas about when someone becomes a mother. Does motherhood start at birth? What if your child is stillborn or passes shortly after birth? Are those women still mothers? Is motherhood defined by the act of raising your child, or birthing them, or conceiving them? If it’s the later, how long does someone need to be pregnant before they are considered […]
Hey friends! I’m interrupting my personal ramblings to talk to you about some Pro Family Legislation. Yup, it’s that time again for RESOLVE’s Federal Advocacy Day. This Thursday, June 17th, more than 500 volunteers from across the country – all 50 states – will meet with Congress to discuss the following legislative issues: Access to Infertility Treatment and Care Act: Provides infertility treatment coverage to those who receive their healthcare through government health plans like […]
Last week I had the opportunity to speak at a Fertility Rally group support meeting. Fertility Rally is a wonderful support group/ membership community for anyone who struggles with infertility or chooses to build their family in a non-traditional way. After sharing my story and talking about Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Association one of the attendees asked me how I knew it was time for me to move on from trying to conceive. I answered honestly […]
I feel the need to start this post by sharing my recent learning that “jealousy” and “envy” are not actually synonyms – they mean different things – and apparently, I’ve been misusing them for years!! Envy is wanting something someone else has. It involves only two people. Jealousy is worry that someone is going to take something you have. It involves three people. This post is about envy. Regardless of my vocabulary ignorance, I was […]
When my husband and I moved to Seattle we needed to establish care with a new fertility clinic. We selected our doctor because she is an expert in treating recurrent miscarriage. I was stunned when I entered the lobby of the our new clinic. It’s located on the 10th floor of a medical tower which faces south east, so I walked into a perfect view of Mount Rainier in all her glory. I have found […]
When my mind is feeling busy or overwhelmed, I sometimes pull angel cards for guidance and meditation. Angel cards are about the size of a quarter Post-It and each has a single word on it, like “gratitude,” or “openness,” or “abundance.” Before selecting one, I mix all the cards up in a jar, sit quietly, and ask the universe for guidance. Regardless of whether my selection is a result of divine intervention or utter randomness, […]
My husband works at Amazon and one of the things they talk about when making decisions is a concept of one-way versus two-way doors. The metaphor being that you can’t walk back through a one-way door, so you need to be more certain about those types of decisions. To me, becoming a parent feels like a one-way door. I want kids. I want the experience of being a mother. I want to build family traditions. […]
In high school I took a creative writing class and my teacher had us practice writing all different types of poems. One type was a “name poem” where we had to describe a person poetically by saying what their name reminded us of. I wrote about the women in my family. Here is the stanza I wrote about my sister: I will say Kristen because she reminds me of flapping butterfly wings, and snowmelt streaming […]
I found a beautiful but short-lived quiet in the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I had given myself permission to take the week “off,” so I felt absolutely no pressure or compulsion to make phone calls, check email, post on social media, or be “productive” in any way. My mornings involved sitting in front of my happy light while drinking coffee and working on the crossword, followed by yoga and then whatever I fancied. […]
